Last month I had the good fortune to partner on a joint talk with John Kador, author of Effective Apology, to explore how compromise and apology might be linked.

What I learned is that the ability to apologize when an apology is due is a healthy compromise. It means giving up the need to be right, to reinforce some fantasy image of who we are, because we value our relationships more than our egos. It requires owning up to our blind spots, weaknesses, and bad habits, but brings us back in touch with reality and frees us from the compromise trap.

Common Misconceptions about Compromise and How the MBA Oath Helps Address Them

I remember looking out the picture-glass window at the glow of the city lights, then noticing my hand shaking slightly as I reached for my glass of chardonnay. I made an effort to settle myself inwardly as I looked across at my client sitting in the booth opposite me. Gwen was a very tall woman, a force-to-be-reckoned-with-executive, CIO of a $4 billion dollar company, and about 20 years my senior. And I had invited her out for a glass of wine because I was afraid of her.

Earlier this week, a consultant colleague, Jim, shared his frustration with trying to help a client.

The gist of the story is simple: The client company faced an urgent need to increase sales effectiveness, so he and his client contact (a project leader I’ll call George) co-designed a program using the absolute best practices for accelerating learning on the job, based on both of their expertise and years of experience.  They got their leader on board and began developing the program.