Lately I’ve been hearing a new type of story as I’ve talked with people about compromise at work.  “We could air our dirty laundry all day,” said one director I met with recently. “You see the same dysfunctions over and over.”   “I confess I’ve defaulted to the ‘playing to live’ strategy,[i]” said a manager in another industry. “It is so frustrating to try to really engage and make a difference.”  Heads nodded around the table as she spoke.

What's new is that the stories are revealing the business side of the compromise trap -- the ways businesses are inadvertently undermining their own results and the frustration that causes for employees.

“They’re asking me for status updates when they haven’t even given me the specs yet!” cried a manager in frustration. “I’ve got my entire team ready but we can’t get started until we know what they need. Unfortunately, if we don’t hit the deadline, they aren’t going to respond well if I tell them they caused the delay!” Exasperated, she sat down to write yet another email reminding her internal customers of the deadline for getting her their needs.

Whatever your business, I bet you recognize this scenario. True? I know I could fill in the blanks with examples from a public utility, an educational testing service, a civil engineering firm, a real estate management company, a custom web developer or the staff of a university brainstorming how to coordinate with faculty.

Common Misconceptions about Compromise and How the MBA Oath Helps Address Them

I remember looking out the picture-glass window at the glow of the city lights, then noticing my hand shaking slightly as I reached for my glass of chardonnay. I made an effort to settle myself inwardly as I looked across at my client sitting in the booth opposite me. Gwen was a very tall woman, a force-to-be-reckoned-with-executive, CIO of a $4 billion dollar company, and about 20 years my senior. And I had invited her out for a glass of wine because I was afraid of her.

“You know, something big shifted for me after that session last month,” said a friend over dinner. She is a manager who has recently gone through four rounds of layoffs and is struggling with the increased workload, conflict on her team and a boss uninterested in the day-to-day challenges. “Things are still tough, but I have a bigger perspective, so I can see and use the freedoms I do have. I’ve altered my approach, which is leading to better interactions with my boss and less pressure to take home. And it all really stemmed from that two-hour session!”

What did we do for two hours that made such a difference?